Sex addiction is a difficult disease. It takes away the active addict’s ability to see women as people and not sex objects. Partners of addicts mistakenly believe that they are not attractive enough and attempt to improve their appearance with breast implants and diets. This behavior is fruitless, just as it is fruitless to attempt to explain all this to the addict. He is not in a place that he can hear or internalize. Partners are unaware that they are not the problem. Once the addict is in recovery, he is able to see a person and not sex object and real intimacy can begin. Unless and until this happens, partners are advised to abstain from any physical connection and remember that the addict is sick. He has no control over his addiction. This includes objectification of their partner, lying about their disease and denial. It is often the case that the addict’s partner insists on treatment for him. You can bring the horse to the water but that’s it. The drinking part must come from the horse. If he isn’t ready to drink and he is forced, the water will all come up again. The greatest predictor of success for a couple in the shadow of addiction is when the partner gets help and disengages, with love and understanding, from all attempts to “treat” the partner.
The sex addict loses control and is incapable of restraining himself despite his desire to do so. His obsession with sexual and romantic activity undermines his capacity to function interpersonally, professionally, and socially. In addition to seriously damaging the addict’s relationship with his spouse/significant other and family, the addict is often at risk of infection and sometimes even finds that he has crossed the line into criminal behavior.
The sex addict craves the variety and excitement surrounding sex and romance. He feels a need for frequent sex or romantic encounters, which leads to numerous sexual or romantic partners. He invests a great amount of time and is willing to expend large sums of money for sex or romance. Often, he is obsessed with sexual fantasies and with collecting pornographic material, whether printed or online.
As society tends to view sex addicts as deviants, people are often reticent to reach out for help with sex addiction. Furthermore, it may be difficult for a person to recognize that he is addicted to something that everyone is doing and to view his behavior as exceptional.
Addiction to Internet Porno Sites
The technological revolution and the dramatic incursion of the internet into our lives have made pornography more accessible than ever. In the past, an addict needed to leave his home, expend money to purchase a magazine or a video cassette, and particularly to chance an embarrassing encounter with an acquaintance. Today the Smartphone, Tablet, or laptop combined with an ever increasing supply of pornographic websites allow access to an endless supply of pornographic material without the hassle, expense, and risk.
Treatment of Sex Addiction
Professional help is extremely important for recovery from sex addiction. The goal is not to abstain from sex, as in the case of a drug or alcohol addiction, but rather to regain control of one’s impulses in order to lead a normal life and to enjoy healthy sex within the framework of a positive relationship.
Treatment focuses on indentifying the causes of the addiction, treating them, reconnecting to reality, building up the addict’s self-esteem, fixing those aspects of his life that were damaged, and channeling his energy in a healthier directions.
Can One Cope with Sex Addiction Alone?
Attempting to overcome sex addiction on one’s own can be a depressing and frustrating experience.
At Kesharim (Connections), we have a supportive and professional staff with a proven track record of treating sex addicts and enabling them to make significant change in their lives.
Our experts will guide you from the start, will create a discrete program adapted to your needs, and will support you throughout the transformative process.
We have assisted and continue to assist many others who suffer from an addiction to sex, and we can offer you the same personal and professional care. With our staff at your side, you are no longer alone.